Tomorrow is indeed another day. And I am not afraid. So bring on the rain.

Bring it on.

Another present moment, around the bend, a mystery...but surely an opportunity to open ourselves to more teachings that are offered from any and all sources around us. Shall we miss the beauty of the present, and not learn from the teachings of yesterday, because we hang onto the yesterdays themselves?

Maybe we're hanging onto yesterday's negativity and conflicts for egoic reasons.

Or perhaps the yesterdays make us feel comfortable and safe.

Perhaps we're hanging onto memories and old ways of being.

Perhaps we're afraid to step into tomorrow, the unknown.

Could it be that we're afraid to really go deeper, dive beneath the surface of an infinite, enigmatically rippling sea that is the Mystery?

Could tomorrow be more painful than today, we might think...

But, perhaps tomorrow is more profoundly beautiful than today.

Do you really know for sure?

So...why hold on to what has passed? It's like wearing a blindfold, a blindfold of past images, thoughts, feelings, events...we're wearing this unchanging blindfold while the sun rises over the horizon of a brand new day. At what point do we take it off, and marvel at what is unfolding at this very moment in time, and what will continue to unfold into essentially indefinable tomorrows?

What is your blindfold? Are you ready to untie it, release it into the wind....and allow your being to fully see the morning sun in all its glory....?

This is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard. It is truly one of the songs of my deepest Heart...

May these words touch You as much as they do me.

:))

<<What qualities do you have that make you good at journeying and travels? What aspects of your character make you a good companion on a trip?>>

I guess I could be considered good at journeying and travels for a couple of reasons.

First off, no matter where I may roam, I can't help but feel right at home. This is mostly because I'm just a happy, curious soul. But this is partly because I'm a polyglot. I find such great joy in learning other languages well and using them to communicate with people, people I mightn't have gotten to speak to if I didn't spend the time to learn foreign languages. It is also partly because I love to take the time to learn about the history, culture and communications dynamics of the area where I'm going, so as to better communicate with and honor the perspectives of others.

Secondly...once I get where I'm going, even able to speak the language and knowing a bit about the culture of my new 'home', I'm like a kid in a candy shop, eager to explore the unknown without the slightest inkling or expectation of what may lie around the next bend in the road. Each new discovery fills my heart with such great joy! This involves going farther out than the 'tourist attractions', for these wonders alone do not define the place I am in. Even an ornately carved gate I randomly found once, in the midst of Salamanca, Spain, had a good bit of history and culture to it upon closer inspection - and it wasn't mentioned anywhere as a sight to see.

I never grow weary of traveling. It doesn't matter whether near or far. It is wonderful to travel alone, but I also enjoy traveling with others - both for companionship, and partly to see their faces light up when they discover something new, too!

=))

 

"Who have been your greatest teachers? What people have you learned the most from? What teacher came as the greatest surprise?"

In response...I can't in all honesty and fairness state a specific name or names of people that have been my greatest teachers in this life. Every single person I've encountered on the path has offered unique teachings, wisdom, and for these souls I am grateful beyond words .  The sense now of the Teacher is akin to a spectacular, multi-dimensional, neverending prismatic light show pouring right into and back out of the very depths of my Heart.

I guess I can answer this by sharing about what has been my greatest teacher, what I've learned the most from, and also, what is the surprise of surprises. So...let me share a very special teacher and friend of mine, one flavor of the Teacher...an energetic teacher...the tiger within: suffering. The more intense the suffering I have experienced, the deeper the wisdom offered by this teacher. Suffering comes in many forms and intensities.

Suffering, at some level, has appeared within me as fear, anger, jealousy, grief, heartbreak, heartache, insecurity, self-pity, frustration, sense of lack, loneliness.  It has appeared as arisings of worthlessness, despair, the perception of shattered ‘dreams', disbelief. It has also appeared as a result of my own reactions to witnessing death firsthand, rejection, defamation of ‘my' character (if such ‘character' really existed at all - haha!!), physical pain, physical abuse and near sexual assault, emotional and spiritual abuse. The list could go on interminably.

Suffering cannot be blamed or attributed to anyone or anything beyond our own arisings and lived experience. Suffering has no face, no fixed identity; it arises within us. Nobody escapes this teacher, for suffering is waiting around the next bend to offer us the teaching that will help us move further down the path. Suffering is the teacher, the gatekeeper, the arrow pointing back towards true peace, the true self, although it is quite difficult, almost impossible sometimes, to recognize suffering as such. Suffering is the pothole blocking the entire pathway; we can't help but fall in. But it's our choice...to drown in the pothole, or swim to the other side. It takes a few nasty slips into the pothole before we see the signpost, and the Teacher that is suffering, for what it really is.

What a valuable teacher....

Hmmm...how to respond to this? There are lots of answers; I shall keep it simple, and offer but a few.

Firstly, it depends on the online community itself. I shall address those of a trans-traditional, spiritual nature.

There’s a lack of physical presence in an online community, even with pictures and the like. Less rapport and bonding occurs between members of a strictly online group.
This is perhaps the only big drawback, besides the factor of general anonymity - not really knowing who we’re communicating with beyond the writings of those in the community.

However, the above-mentioned drawback is also a plus.

Online groups and communities are good for those who are shy and might not feel too comfortable in a room full of people. Communication-wise, there is more opportunity for everyone to respond, interact, and step into leadership roles, given that the online community and/or its leadership is not an elitist group of individuals. Now, vis a vis in a room full of people, many folks in that room may never get the opportunity to speak, or would be too nervous to bring forth what some may consider unusual perspectives. It's just easier online.

To perhaps address another positive aspect of online community, given it’s healthy, non-elitist, and supportive of all members: in my experience, it’s a good place to ‘go deeper’ in ways that might be more difficult in ‘real life’. Folks can present the community with profound insight, teachings, and wisdom, and they can do this after great thought and meditation. It can be presented in written, video, or audio format for others to read, watch, and hear, and it's available for people to come back to. What is presented online can be a gift for many more people than with vis a vis dialog in group format. It lasts past the present moment, and can touch infinite lives in a very real way.

Regardless of the pros and cons, and differences per se, I find that a community online is better when paired with in-person communications exchange in a real-world group. This is the best of both worlds…

Love to All...

The best thing I've ever done in response to negative people is to realize that although they're projecting the anger, hatred, or other form of negativity onto me, it is not really targeted at me, more often than not. This is especially the case with strangers, and many times the case with friends and former partners I've had. Basically, someone or something got their hackles up, and I end up receiving the brunt of their negativity in response to something that isn't happening in the present moment.

So no matter what they say or do, I don't take it personally, and don't allow myself to respond to them with the same energy they are projecting at me. Sometimes this is easier said than done, but it's the only option. I end up listening, and given they continue trying to provoke me for some reason, I attempt to dialog with that person and both of us usually get to the root of the issue.

On more than one occasion, a person has been so volatile that I've had to walk away instead of doing a form of deep interpersonal work, which is a natural reaction when I end up in a situation with someone who is negative. In such cases strong boundaries are a good idea.

In all cases, loving the (apparent) other, honoring what stage of development they're at, and treating them as they would like to be treated are great things to keep in mind when preparing to respond in some way to someone who is being negative.

Hope this helps...

:-)

What does it mean to really communicate with someone?

To truly communicate with someone is a two-way street, with our responsibility lying on our own end of the communication process. The truth is, we're all at different stages of development as far as interpersonal communication skills go. It's important to honor this. The most important things to do, in any case....

Be fully present with the person you are communicating with. If it's vis a vis, it helps to maintain eye contact and open your body, your posture to that person. If you're communicating via other means, it is important that they have your complete attention. Stop what you're doing, and...

Listen deeply to what the other person is sharing with you, and feel into their particular perspective at that present moment to discern how to respond in a loving, authentic manner. This is without regard to method of communicaton. This is regardless of whether we agree or disagree with what is being said. It is honoring the perspective, circumstances, stage of development, and feelings of the other.

It is important to just listen, and I mean Listen, which means exactly that - but also means not allowing ourselves to get stuck, get hung up on something specific they said, for any reason. If we do, we miss out on the rest of what's being shared with us. I can't stress this enough, given the fact that the majority of people retain less than half of what they hear. If what is enticing us to get 'stuck' is important enough, we'll remember it and address it when it is time for us to share...

As we mirror back to the other what we have heard. It's like a communication check, to ensure we have understood correctly what has been shared with us.

Now, if you are the one who is initiating the communication, and you are the one speaking, it is helpful to be kind to the other and speak without placing blame. It is essential to be completely honest, and try our best not to project onto the other person. If there isn't some type of conflict being addressed, it's still important to remember to honor the state of being of the person you're interacting with - where they're coming from, their stage of development...basically, speak their language...or one you both understand.

How do you know when you and another person are truly communicating?

We know when this has happened, when we've passed the communication check, and that person affirms what we have reflected back to them.

There is understanding on both sides.

This does NOT mean that there is no conflict: there's always going to be conflict as long as we're humanly embodied and ego is still at play! What it means that what is communicated both ways in that particular present moment, has been understood by both.

You and that other person can 'go deeper' and beyond superficial, egoic cycles and patterns of interaction.

What gets in the way of your communicating with others-or vice versa?

I explained this in my last post, but the answer, to be brief, is simple. It's ego.

The best thing we can do when communications breakdowns occur, is realize that we're all human, and make mistakes. We can realize that we're all at different stages. We can make a greater effort to understand the perspective of the other. We can work at it.

Interpersonal communication is a skill; developing it is part of our growth process.

I speak from my own experiences and mistakes here....


And I can thank everyone with whom I've come into contact, but more recently and especially a friend, Michael, for helping me to learn a lot of what I share here, through our friendship, effective, deep communications, communications breakdowns, fallouts, mistakes, good times, and all that great jazz. A deep bow to this kind Spirit, and all others who have been teachers on the path of growth, learning, and very deep and real transformation.

What gets in the way of connecting? Hmmm...

Ego, period....

Fear of becoming vulnerable.

Fear of the (apparent) other.

Fear of losing a sense of 'me'.

Fear of (public) embarrassment or ridicule.

Fear of disappointment.

Fear of abandonment.

Fear of sexual/physical/emotional inadequacy in relation to the 'other'.

Fear of losing our sense of safety and security.

Fear of unintentionally hurting another.

Insecurity in all forms.

A lack of understanding of , or closed minded disregard for another person's perspective, race, religion, et cetera.

Selfishness....

and, deeply-rooted psychological issues in some people (sad to say...).

The list goes on, of course - but to be quite clear, communication and connection go both ways. Something arising within one person, or both, can get in the way of really, authentically connecting with others. The possibilities of, and causes for communication breakdowns and lack of connectivity are infinite. Best thing to do is work on our own stuff, and be open and authentic no matter how hard it might be at times. It doesn't always help, because we can't fix the pathology of the (apparent) other. This is a hard lesson I learned recently - freely shared.

One other thing, thinking about a recent situation with someone I still consider a 'friend' - I never shut the door on anyone, or completely burn the bridge, or keep boundaries up forever -- communications breakdown or not. Time apart to heal and grow, yes, but it's not a forever-thing. It just isn't authentic, open or loving to put up walls forever, unless that person is endangering and/or taking people's lives. Forgiveness and a willingness to grow and communicate with that person, love and be open, regardless of past differences, and treating that person with kindness no matter what stage they're at, would be the better option.

Love to all.
:-)

What have I learned from having my heart broken?

First and foremost, I have learned to let go of any victim stories that arise. This sense has evolved over time, as I have experienced heartbreak more than a few times. I realize that I am partly to blame for the situation, for one. As well, it is my choice to become a victim and place blame, but doing so is pointless and does not serve anyone, myself included.

As painful as heartbreak is, especially the last time (he was my best friend)...I accept that this is a life lesson long overdue. I accept this lesson with gratitude, and move forward. I also learn from the situation, and resolve to not cause heartbreak for another person because I know how it feels.

I have learned forgiveness, for my friend, and for myself.

I have learned to sit with the pain, tears, and heartbreak that still arises, and don't avoid it. Being authentic, true in the moment, is a huge step towards healing.
 
In addition...I still love this person with all my heart. That will never, ever change. He will always have my heart, and he will remain forever my best friend on this earth.

And I have the sense that the heart can never really break, that it is more like a circle - no beginning, no end. For the heart arises as deepest Love, and can never truly break or die.

Much Love to All.

Ich sehe die Fragen in deinen Augen 
Fast sagtest du etwas 
Aber du versuchtest nicht, mich zu bitten 
Warum siehst du so merkwürdig aus? 
Ist es so schwierig, 
etwas zu sagen? 
Möglicherweise... 

Qu'est-ce qui se passe ici? 
Est-ce que je veux vraiment savoir? 
Peut-être... 

Ich kenne deine Fragen 
Ich verstehe dein Zögern 
Aber ich verstehe nicht deine Handlungen 
Sie sind gerade ungewöhnlich... 

Peut-être c'est quelque chose que 
je ne comprendrai jamais... 
Ou peut-être tu peux me l'expliquer? 
Puisque je voudrais comprendre... 

Was geschieht hier? 
Möchte ich wirklich wissen? 
Ja...sicher! 

Tu es une énigme 
Tu es mystérieux 
Non...tu veux juste que 
je pense que tu es un mystère 
Aujourd'hui tu cherches à me mystifier 
Cela peut bien être amusant 
Mais ton jeu peut me frustrer quelquefois.